How to Fight in Spanish: Say This When You’re Angry – Examples!

I would love it if you never had to fight, not with your friends or your partner, with anyone. But unfortunately in every relationship there will be conflict.

But don’t worry because Paulísima, your favorite Spanish teacher, will teach you how to sail a fight in Spanish.

Everything started with an innocent question…

Hola mi amor. ¿Cómo te fue en el trabajo? 
(Hey my love. How was work?)

Bien, normal, y ¿a ti? 
(Fine, normal, and you?)

Estuvo súper pesado. Mi jefe se portó horrible conmigo y tuve que lidiar con unos clientes odiosos. Oye, ¿si te acordaste de comprar la leche? 
(It was super heavy. My boss behaved terribly to me and I had to deal with a bunch of hideous clients. Hey, did you remember to buy the milk?)

Ay no güey. Se me olvidó. 
(Oh no shoot! I forgot.)

¡De nuevo se te olvidó! ¡Hasta te mandé mensaje!
(You forgot again! I even sent you a message!)

¡Y sabías que la necesito para mi licuado! 
(And you know I need it for my milkshake!)

Now we have two options: go for a fight, or try to solve things.

If we go for a fight, it might go like this…

Ay perdón, pero si tanto la necesitabas la hubieras comprado tú.
(Oh sorry, but if you needed it so much, you could have bought it yourself.)

¿Perdón? Yo te dije el lunes que yo la iba a comprar pero ¡tú te ofreciste porque te quedaba más cerca!
(Excuse me? I told you on Monday that I was going to buy it, but then you offered because it was closer for you!) 

Ay ya, ¡no es para tanto! 
(Oh c’mon, it’s not that big of a deal!)

¿No es para tanto? ¡Acuérdate que estoy a dieta! ¡Típico! 
(Not that big of a deal? Remember that I’m on a diet! Typical!)

Típico ¿qué?
(Typical what?)

Pues tú que prometes algo y no lo cumples…
(Well, you promise something and don’t deliver…)

¿Ah sí? Y ¿qué tal tú en Navidad cuando “casualmente” se te olvidó comprarle un regalo a mi mamá?
(Oh yeah? What about you on Christmas, when you “casually” forgot to buy a present for my mom?)

¡Ay no por favor de nuevo con lo de tu mamá! ¿Y como que “casualmente”? ¡Ya te expliqué mil veces cómo estuvieron las cosas! 
(Oh no, please again with your mom! And what do you mean with “casually”? I already explained to you a thousand times how things were!)

O sea, tú sí te puedes quejar pero yo no ¿verdad? ¡Siempre es lo mismo contigo! 
(So, you can complain, but I can’t, right? It’s always the same with you!)

This is a no-go! Here’s how you can defuse the situation. Stay until the end to learn some of my favorite conflict resolution phrases. 

¡Ay ya no es para tanto! 
(Oh! It’s not that big of a deal!)

¿No es para tanto? ¡Acuérdate que estoy a dieta! 
(Not that big of a deal? Remember that I’m on a diet!)

Tienes razón. Discúlpame. Pensé que me iba a dar tiempo pero no fue así. Voy a pedir la leche a domicilio o dime ¿qué puedo hacer para arreglarlo? 
(You’re right. I’m sorry. I thought I was going to have time, but it wasn’t like that. I’m going to order the milk to be delivered or tell me, what can I do to fix it?)

Did you listen well?

First, let’s admit the other person is right: 

Tienes razón. (You’re right.)

Then we apologize: Discúlpame or perdóname work perfectly. 

Now a great excuse that I know is the day to day for plenty of people, who like me are unrealistically optimistic about their time management: Pensé que me iba a dar tiempo pero no fue así. (I thought I was going to have time but it wasn’t like that.)

And lastly: Dime ¿qué puedo hacer para arreglarlo? (Tell me, what can I do to fix it?)

Pang! Conflict resolution at its finest. Using premade phrases or chunks. Chunks don’t vary and are used by native Spanish speakers all the time, so when you use them you can be sure that you’re saying it right. 

So you did great, but perhaps she is still not fine. But there’s a reason why, remember: 

Estuvo súper pesado. Mi jefe se portó horrible conmigo y tuve que lidiar con unos clientes odiosos. 
(It was super heavy. My boss behaved terribly to me and I had to deal with a bunch of hideous clients.)  

Let’s see what happens with our favorite couple:

¡De nuevo se te olvidó! ¡Hasta te mandé mensaje! Sabías que la necesito para mi licuado. 
(Again you forgot! I even texted you! You knew I needed it for my milkshake.)

Tienes razón. Discúlpame. Pensé que me iba a dar tiempo pero no fue así. Voy a pedir la leche a domicilio o dime, ¿qué puedo hacer para arreglarlo? 
(You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m going to order the milk to be delivered or tell me, what can I do to fix it?)

¡O sea! ¡Pudiste haberte acordado! 
(I mean! You could have remembered!)

Entiendo que tuviste un día difícil y contabas conmigo para algo importante para ti y te fallé. De nuevo, discúlpame. Pero vamos a resolverlo. ¿Está bien?
(I understand that you had a difficult day, and you were counting on me for something important to you, and I failed you. Again, I’m sorry. But let’s solve it. Okay?)

Bueno está bien. Pide la leche por una app. 
(Well that’s fine. Order the milk by an app.)

Conflict resolved!

Maybe I should be a dating coach. I already made a video about how to make your Tinder profile and I think it is great! Let me know in the comments if you think I have a shot at it! 

Sometimes even though you are keeping calm, the other person is not making it.

Let’s see what would have happened in an alternate reality when the other person doesn’t seem to want to solve the conflict…

¡O sea! ¡Pudiste haberte acordado! 
(I mean! You could have remembered!)

Entiendo que tuviste un día difícil y contabas conmigo para algo importante para ti y te fallé. De nuevo discúlpame. Pero vamos a resolverlo. ¿Está bien?
(I understand that you had a difficult day and that you counted on me to do something important for you, and I failed you. Again, I’m sorry. But let’s solve it. Is that ok?)

¡Ughh! ¡Es que siempre es lo mismo! ¿Para qué te ofreciste hacerlo si no ibas a poder? ¡Estoy hasta la coronilla! 
(Ugh! It is always the same! Why did you offer to do it if you weren’t able to do it? I’m so fed up!)

What about that, uh? I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be talked to in that manner. 

For some examples of Spanish phrases for when you are too angry, check out the video that my colleague Juan made on the subject.

This might be especially useful for people that have a native Spanish speaker as their partner. Because although us Latinos are the best in the world, we are not known for our serenity.

What do we do in these cases?

¡Ughh! ¡Es que siempre es lo mismo! ¿Para qué te ofreciste hacerlo si no ibas a poder? ¡Estoy hasta la coronilla! 
(Ughh! It is always the same! Why did you offer to do it if you weren’t going to be able to? I’m fed up!)

Mi amor, entiendo que te sientas frustrado pero de verdad no me gusta cuando me hablan de esa forma. Voy a pausar las cosas por ahora y después hablamos. Te quiero mucho y quiero que resolvamos esto.  
(My love, I understand that you feel frustrated, but I really don’t like it when they talk to me that way. I’m going to pause things for now, and we’ll talk later. I love you very much, and I want us to solve this.)

Super importante here. I said “no me gusta cuando me hablan de esa forma”.

Cuando me hablaN, with an N which is more like “when I’m they talk to me like that” or When I’m talked to this way, NOT cuando me hablaS which is “when YOU talk to me that way”.

Remember that when we are fighting with someone we should not point them out. We have to talk about what we feel.

How to fight in Spanish – an overview of chunks

Now let me share some more helpful phrases to handle all kind of conflicts: