How do WOMEN & MEN talk in Spanish? Differences between the Genders.
¡Qué bonito eso!
(How nice that is!)
SĂşper cuchi, Âżverdad?
(Super cute, right?)
Most of the time, men wouldn’t say “cuchi”, and women would say both “cuchi” and “bonito” regardless.
¿Por qué? (Why?)
De eso hablaremos en este video. (That’s what we’ll talk about in this video.) Yo soy Maura, de Spring Spanish. Let’s figure out what makes women and men choose different words and chunks in Spanish. ¡Empecemos!
1. Men and women greeting each other in Spanish
¿Qué más flaca, cómo estás?
(What else skinny, how are you?)
¡Mau! ¡Holis! Todo bien. ¿Y tú?
(Mau! Hi! All good. And you?)
Later that same day…
QuĂ© bueno verte, Maurita. CuĂdate.
(Good to see you, Maurita. Take care.)
Tú también. Encantada de verte, cariño.
(You too. Nice to see you, dear.)
People usually choose different words not because of their gender, but because of the tone the words convey. Meaning, some words sound “sweeter”, “softer” and that might put off or attract some people.
Now, before we continue, I just have to make sure. ¡Nada de lo que vamos a cubrir son reglas! (Nothing we’re going to cover are rules!) And if they were, te animo a romperlas (I encourage you to break them). It’s actually perfectly common for people to do it, so please do be as free as you will with these chunks.
In the context of the dialogue, these two people know each other and they’re Latin-American. Digo esto por si notas que usamos un montĂłn de palabras de cariño entre nosotros que, en otras culturas, podrĂan considerarse estrictamente coqueteo. (I say this in case you notice that we use a lot of words of endearment with each other that, in other cultures, might be considered strictly flirting.) For us, this is perfectly natural and invites no misunderstanding.
Rápidamente, antes de que comparemos los chunks (Quickly, before we compare the chunks), we invite you to download our free essential Spanish Chunking Kit through the link in the description. You’ll find chunks anyone can and should use!
| Feminine tone chunks | Masculine tone chunks |
|---|---|
| ¿Qué más bella / gorda / nena / baby? (What’s up beautiful / fatty / girl / baby ?)Most women would just change the “flaca” for almost anything else. | ¿Qué más flaca? (What else skinny?)Using “flaca”, like this, has more of a masculine tone to it. Also, it is very Venezuelan, but probably other Latin countries use it as well. |
| ¡Holis! (Hi!)Using diminutives is a way to soften words in Spanish, therefore, most common among people who prefer a more feminine tone. | ¡Hola! (Hello!)Just drop the diminutive if you’re concerned with sounding too feminine. |
| Encantada de verte. (Delighted to see you.)Though you can say “encantado”, “encantada”, it does tend to be more common. Meaning, las mujeres dicen esto más (women say this more). | ¡Qué bueno verte, Maurita! (So good to see you, Maurita!)This is a more generic version, easier to use for everyone. Now, turning names into diminutives, like “Maurita”, does have a heavy masculine tone to it. |
| Cariño (Dear)There are many more words of endearment with a more neutral tone, but “cariño” is a popular feminine one. | Nothing. |
I’m intentionally saying “nothing” for this last one because it’ll be more common for men to refrain from terms of endearment. Digo esto sabiendo que mis familiares y mis amigos sà que los usan. (I say this knowing that my family and friends do use them.) Also, this will probably change by country so much more. And, it’ll change again depending on who this man is talking to.
Si te da curiosidad (If you’re curious), en (in) Venezuela, you could hear men addressing women by: flaca, bella, gorda, negra, baby (skinny, beautiful, fat, black, baby). In almost every case, these would all be well intended and well received.
Men could address other men by saying: hermano, papi/papá/papito, compadre, brother (brother, dad/father/daddy, buddy, bother).
Obviamente, esto cambia mucho dependiendo del paĂs (Obviously, this changes a lot depending on the country), so check out PaulĂsima’s video on not saying “mi amor” (my love) for more Mexican alternatives!
2. Men and women praising in Spanish
Before we continue, just know that I’ll be swapping the dialogues at the end. I’ll show you that only through tone, you can make anything sound as feminine or masculine as you want. Make sure to stick around for it!
¿Y estás viviendo en el centro? ¿Qué tal es?
(And you are living in downtown? How is it?)
¡Me encanta! El centro es sĂşper lindo y tiene mucha energĂa.
(I love it! Downtown is super pretty and has a lot of energy.)
SĂ, total, el centro es bello.
(Yes, totally, downtown is beautiful.)
Mira, y tĂş estás precioso sin barba. ¡No te habĂa visto!
(Look, and you are beautiful without your beard. I hadn’t seen you!)
ÂżSĂ? ¡Gracias! Me la quitĂ© hace poco y todavĂa no me acostumbro. TĂş tambiĂ©n, te hiciste unas mechas. Me gusta, te quedan chĂ©vere.
(Yes? Thank you! I recently took it off and I’m still not used to it. You too, you did some highlights. I like them, they look cool on you.)
Ay sĂ, gracias, reconectándome con mi adolescente interior.
(Oh, yes, thank you, reconnecting with my inner teenager.)
| Femenine tone chunks | Masculine tone chunks |
|---|---|
| ¡Me encanta! (I love it!)Everybody uses this, but percentage wise, it might lean more towards the feminine side. | Me gusta (I like it)This declaration is so basic and safe that it could always be masculine if you so want it to be. |
| El centro es súper lindo. (Downtown is super pretty.)“Lindo” (pretty) is what makes this more feminine sounding. Other alternatives like “bonito” (beautiful) would make this more neutral. | El centro es bello. (Downtown is beautiful.)“Bello” is more neutral and therefore a very common masculine tone alternative to “lindo”. |
| Ay, sĂ, gracias (Oh, yes, thank you)Now, because what matters here is tone and “ay” is more a sound than a word, “ay, sĂ” does have a very specific, soft, feminine tone. | Gracias (Thank you)To maintain a masculine tone most people would certainly drop the “ay, si”. |
| Estás precioso (You are gorgeous)Telling a man “que está precioso” (he is gorgeous), along with choosing the word “precioso”, is what puts this chunk in this list. But, put two men together that are basically best friends and you’ll hear this and more. | Te quedan chévere (They look cool on you)I do think that because beauty adjectives like: lindo, precioso, hermoso (cute, gorgeous, beautiful) have this pretty, light energy to them, words that can break away from that and mean “cool” instead have more of a masculine tone. |
También (also), notice that just using “precioso”, ending in -o, would make it clear you’re talking to a man without any need to mention the subject. Whereas talking to a women would use an -a at the end: preciosa.
Y, “chevere” es la opción venezolana por excelencia. (And, “chévere” is the venezuelan option of choice.) “Chévere” is actually used all over the Caribbean so: Colombia, Puerto Rico, República Dominicana and probably many more. But I can hear other Spanish-speaking men using their own version:
- Spanish: guay
- Mexicans: padre
- Argentinians: copado
Chunk Alert!
Me encantan los chunks como “no te habĂa visto” (I love chunks like “I hadn’t seen you”) because they go beyond literality and they need a lot of context to mean something specific. You can say “no te habĂa visto” to literally mean you hadn’t seen someone and are apologizing for bumping into them or not saying hello, por ejemplo (for example). How I used it, though, it means more: “I hadn’t noticed this about you” or “I didn’t know you had changed this about you”.
Next time you run into a Spanish-speaking friend and you want to point out a difference in them, try using: ¡No te habĂa visto con ese nuevo look. Me encanta! (I hadn’t seen you with that new look. I love it!)
3. Men and women expressing alarm in Spanish
¡Iugh, Mau, cuidado!
(Ew, Mau, watch out!)
¿Qué pasó?
(What happened?)
Nada, pensé que ibas a pisar caca de perro.
(Nothing, I thought you were going to step on dog poop.)
Me asustaste, pensé que era otra cosa.
(You scared me, I thought it was something else.)
Es que qué susto, te ibas a destruir las botas.
(I mean it was scary, you were going to destroy your boots.)
4. Swapping the dialogues
¿Qué más flaco, cómo estás?
(What else skinny, how are you?)
¡Mau! ¡Holis! Todo bien. ¿Y tú?
(Mau! Hi! All good. And you?)
¡Muy bien! ¿Y estás viviendo en el centro? ¿Qué tal es?
(Very good! And you are living in downtown? How is it?))
¡Me encanta! El centro es sĂşper lindo y tiene mucha energĂa.
(I love it! Downtown is super cute and has a lot of energy.)
SĂ, total, el centro es bello.
(Yes, totally, downtown is beautiful.)
Mira, y tĂş estás preciosa con esas mechas. ¡No te habĂa visto!
(Look, and you are beautiful with those highlights. I hadn’t seen you!)
ÂżSĂ? ¡Gracias! Me las hice hace poco y todavĂa no me acostumbro. TĂş tambiĂ©n, te quitaste la barba. Me gusta, te queda chĂ©vere.
(Yes? Thank you! I recently got them and I’m still not used to it. You too, you took your beard off. I like it, it looks cool.)
Ay, sĂ, gracias, reconectándome con mi adolescente interior.
(Oh, yes, thank you, reconnecting with my inner teenager.)
¡Asco, Mau, cuidado!
(Yuck, Mau, watch out!)
¿Qué pasó?
(What happened?)
Nada, pensé que ibas a pisar caca de perro.
(Nothing, I thought you were going to step in dog poop.)
Me asustaste, pensé que era otra cosa.
(You scared me, I thought it was something else.)
Es que qué susto, te ibas a destruir las botas.
(It’s just that how scary, you were going to destroy your boots.)
QuĂ© bueno verte, Mauricito. CuĂdate.
(Good to see you, Mauricito. Take care.)
Tú también. Encantado de verte, cariño.
(You too. Nice to see you, dear.)
Confession, I think masculine men owning their feminine side and using lighter words in their own tone is sexy as hell! Obviously, it works the other way around as well.
