Stop Saying “Hey Süße!”: How to Flirt in German

MAX
Kim, du siehst heute sehr hübsch aus.
(Kim, you look very pretty today.)

KIM
Wirklich? Nur heute? Danke…
(Really? Just today? Thank you…)

MAX
Immer doch.
(Always.)

Flirten auf Deutsch will gelernt sein! (Flirting in German has to be learned!) So let’s learn it!

Mein Name ist Spring German Lehrerin Brunhild. Hier kommen 3 Tips, wie du auf Deutsch flirten kannst! (Here are 3 flirting tips in German!) Los geht’s! (Let’s go!)

1. Sei aufmerksam (Be attentive)

Before we get into the sexy phrases, I’d like to point out how far you can come by simply paying attention. At the end of the day, that is what impresses people the most.

MAX
Hey! Du warst lange nicht in der Schule! Wie geht es dir?
(Hey! You haven’t been in school for a while! How have you been?)

VANADIS
Ehrlich gesagt, ein wenig gestresst. Meine Oma ist krank und ich pflege sie.
(A little stressed, to be honest. My grandma is sick and I take care of her.)

MAX
Das wundert mich nicht.
(I’m not surprised.)

VANADIS
Wie meinst du das?
(How do you mean?)

MAX
Du wirkst wie jemand, der sich viel um andere kümmert.
(You seem like the type of person who cares about others.)

VANADIS
Hm… ja. Das stimmt.
(Hm … yes. That’s true.)

MAX
Das ist sehr schön von dir. Du hast ein gutes Herz.
(That is very nice of you. You have a good heart.)

VANADIS
Schön, dass du mich so wahrnimmst.
(It’s nice that you perceive me that way.)

MAX
Ich habe dich schon immer interessant gefunden.
(I have always noticed that you are interesting.)

The boy in the dialogue is smart. He serves a need that everyone has – to be seen. Ich habe dich schon immer interessant gefunden. (I have always noticed that you are interesting.) is a nice compliment which shows that you had your eye on someone for a while. You could also say:

• Ich habe dich schon immer lustig gefunden. (I have always noticed that you are funny.)
• Ich habe dich schon immer sympathisch gefunden. (I have always noticed that you are sympathetic.)
• Ich habe dich schon immer kompetent gefunden. (I have always noticed that you are competent.)

Here is another great line from the dialogue that shows that you paid attention, without jumping to a compliment right away. It can be used with people you barely know but want to know better:

MAX
Hey! Du warst lange nicht in der Schule! Wie geht es dir?
(Hey! You haven’t been in school for a while! How have you been?)

This chunk means that you noticed someone else being away for a while, which shows you paid attention. You could say

• Hey, du warst lange nicht in der Schule. (Hey, you haven’t been in school for a while.)
• Hey, du warst lange nicht im Büro (Hey, you haven’t been in the office for a while.)
• Hey, du warst lange nicht beim Training (Hey, you haven’t been in training for a while.)

Make sure to follow the statement up with a “***Wie geht es dir?***” (How are you doing?), so that it doesn’t come across as an accusation rather than an honest interest in how they are doing. Who knows, maybe hearing that someone cares about their well-being is exactly what that person needs to hear.

MAX
Du wirkst wie jemand, der sich viel um andere kümmert.
(You seem like the type of person who cares about others.)

VANADIS
Hm… ja. Das stimmt.
(Hm… yes. That’s true.)

This is a smart move, because, again, it shows attentiveness and interest. The chunk

• Du wirkst wie jemand, der… (You look like the type of person that…): can also be used with people you don’t know very well. You can add anything nice that applies right after. Like:
  • Du wirkst wie jemand, der sich viel um andere kümmert. (You seem like the kind of person who cares about others.)
  • Du wirkst wie jemand, der Abenteuer mag. (You seem like the kind of person who likes adventures.)
  • Du wirkst wie jemand, der sehr viel weiß. (You seem like the kind of person who knows a lot.)

Wie würdest du gerne wirken? (How would you like to seem?)

MAX
Ich fahre am Wochenende in die Berge. Willst du mitkommen?
(I’m going to the mountains this weekend. Would you like to come?)

KUNDRY
Wieso fragst du ausgerechnet mich?
(Why are you asking me of all people?)

MAX
Ich weiß nicht. Du wirkst wie jemand, der Abenteuer mag.
(I don’t know. You seem like the kind of person who likes adventures.)

Powerful flirting tool this one! Another trust building phrase is…

MAX
Das ist sehr schön von dir. Du hast ein gutes Herz.
(That is very nice of you. You have a good heart.)

VANADIS
Schön, dass du mich so wahrnimmst.
(It’s nice that you perceive me that way.)

The chunk Das ist sehr (positive adjective) von dir (That is very (positive adjective) of you) shows appreciation, so you can use it when you want the other person to feel good about themselves.

• Das ist sehr schön von dir. (That’s very nice of you.)
• Das ist sehr aufmerksam von dir. (That’s very attentive of you.)
• Das ist sehr klug von dir. (That’s very smart of you.)

Obviously, these also work as a way of saying “Thank you”.

MAX
Alles Gute zum Namenstag!
(Happy names day!)

SAGA
Dankeschön! Das ist sehr aufmerksam von dir!
(Thank you! That’s very attentive of you!)

If love is one of your motivations for learning German, you’re not alone. Das ist wahrscheinlich einer der besten Gründe um Sprachen zu lernen. (It’s probably one of the best reasons to learn languages.) Of course, this flirting video will only get you to the door, but once you’ve opened it, you will have to learn a lot more German. That’s why I’m offering you our free Essential German Chunking Kit, which contains easy chunks and phrases that make you sound like a native right away. Click on the link in the video’s description and download it for free.

So now that we have showed that we’re trustworthy people who care, let’s jump to the hot stuff.

2. Komplimente (compliments)

To say it straight away: I’m not a fan of superficial compliments by strangers, which is pretty much anything we say to someone we don’t know yet, right? Äußerliche Komplimente gehen da rein und da raus. (External compliments enter here and exit there). But for the sake of completeness, let’s leave you with at least some chunks for you to compliment someone. Let’s start with appearance.

STRANGER AT A BAR
Wow! Du hast wunderschöne Augen!
(Wow! You have beautiful eyes!)

EVA
Danke! Mir gefällt deine Jacke.
(Thank you! I like your jacket.)

STRANGER AT A BAR
Was macht so eine hübsche Frau wie du alleine hier?
(What is a pretty woman like you doing here all by herself?)

EVA
Aber ich bin ja gar nicht alleine…
(But I am not really alone, am I … ?)

This guy didn’t waste a second and jumped straight to the compliment. Du hast wunderschöne Augen. (You have beautiful eyes.) Instead of Augen, you can insert any feature or clothing or whatever. Like:

• Du hast wunderschöne Augen. (You have beautiful eyes.)
• Du hast wunderschöne Haare. (You have beautiful hair.)
• Du hast wunderschöne Hände. (You have beautiful hands.)

You can also say Mir gefällt etwas. (I like something), like:

• Mir gefällt deine Jacke. (I like your jacket.)
• Mir gefällt dein Stil. (I like your style.)
• Mir gefällt dein Lächeln. (I like your smile.)

Obviously, complimenting on physical traits risks to come across as superficial as it is. So make sure to really mean what you say, to make it at least genuine. To be more subtle, you can use this phrase:

STRANGER AT A BAR
Was macht so eine hübsche Frau wie du alleine hier?
(What is a pretty woman like you doing here all by herself?)

This is a conversation starter disguised as a compliment, or a compliment disguised as a question. Instead of hübsche Frau (pretty woman)you can insert anything, like…

• Was macht so ein schöner Mann wie du alleine hier? (What is a beautiful man like you doing here all by himself?)
• Was macht so ein Sonnenschein wie du alleine hier? (What is a sunshine like you doing here all by themselves?)
• Was macht so ein schicker Kerl wie du alleine hier? (What is a chic guy like you doing here all by himself?)

Complimenting someone on their appearance may be obvious. But sometimes it pays off to be a little more original and highlight more personality-related characteristics.

• Ich mag deinen Humor! (I like your sense of humor!) – I like your sense of humor. Sometimes you don’t just like an attribute, you actually admire it! Then you could say:
• Ich bewundere deine Schlagfertigkeit! (I admire your quick wittedness) or
• Ich bewundere deine Zielstrebigkeit (I admire your determination)

Be generous in praise, but sparsam in der Frequenz (but sparing in frequency) to stay credible.

As you can see, there is so much to say about compliments! It’s a little science on its own. That’s why I actually made an entire video about them, which you can watch here: //

3. Verwende niedliche Kosenamen (Use cute pet names)

Once you know someone a bit better and have a friendly connection, you can go for nicknames and pet names! They’re quite genius, because they create intimacy without having to get physically very close. Using verbal intimacy can seem like a much easier and maybe more natural step to take, depending on who you are and what the situation is. Also, it’s a safe bet, because even friends can use them on one another, like watch:

MARIE
Wow. Du siehst fantastisch aus! Wunderschön, wie ein Engel.
(Wow. You look ravishing! Beautiful, like an angel.)

MONIKA
Danke Mausi. Leihst du mir deinen Kajal?
(Thank you, mousie. Can I borrow your eyeliner?)

MARIE
Klar, Süße. Hier.
(Of course, sweetie. Here you go.)

MONIKA
Mausi, du bist ein Engel.
(Mausi, you are an angel.)

Did you count the pet names? As you can see, their work great, even between friends. The ones we just heard may actually be amongst the most popular ones in Germany.

• Mausi (mousie), mostly used for girls. If you want to make it even cuter, you can turn it into / Mausilein / Mäuslein or /Mäuschen
• Süße (sweetie) for girls and / Süßer for guys
• Engel (angel) or, even cuter, / Engelein / Engelchen

The endings ...chen and …lein, like in Mausilein or Engelchen, can be used on any noun to make it sound a bit smaller, a bit sweeter, a bit more innocent. That is why pet names can also disarm potentially stressful situations.

Other cute gender-neutral nicknames are

• Schnuffel (snuffle)
• Schätzchen (darling)
• Schnuckiputz (snookie)
• Spatz (sparrow)

Watch how petnames can make a stressfull situation more relaxed:

HUSBAND
Wo bist du, Schnuffel?
(Where are you, snuffle?)

DAISY
Schätzchen, welchen Blazer willst du heute Abend anziehen? Den hier oder den hier?
(Treasure, which blazer would you like to wear tonight? This one or this one?)

HUSBAND
Entscheide du, mein Schnuckiputz!
(You decide, my sweetie pie!)

DAISY
Ich weiß nicht. Die sind beide gut.
(I don’t know. They’re both good.)

HUSBAND
Ich vertraue dir, mein Schnuckiputz!
(I trust you, my sweetiepie.)

DAISY
Schätzchen, du siehst doch sowieso toll aus.
(Treasure, you look great either way.)

HUSBAND
Danke, Spatz!
(Thank you, sparrow!)

DAISY
Wir nehmen den hier.
(We’ll take this one.)

HUSBAND
Wie du willst, Mausi!
(As you want, mousie!)

Chunk-Alert!

Du siehst toll aus! (You look great!) may be a very obvious flirt-chunk, but it’s just so efficient. Who doesn’t like getting complimented on their style! And, as I told you, there’s a link down below where you can download a sheet with more great chunks!

4. Quiz

What is someone telling you when they say:

• Mir gefällt dein Lächeln

a) You have lovely lashes

b) I like your smile

// b) is correct. Mir gefällt dein Lächeln means “I like your smile”.

Imagine you work with your crush, but they haven’t come to the office in days. What could you say when they return to show that you care about them?

a) Was macht so ein hübsches Ding wie du alleine hier im Büro?

b) Hey, du warst lange nicht im Büro. Wie geht es dir?

// a) means “What is such a cute thing like you doing in the office all by herself? Well. I don’t know… working maybe? Obviously, a) makes zero sense b) is correct.

Which of the following pet names is an animal?

• Schnuffel (snuffle)
• Schätzchen (darling)
• Schnuckiputz (snookie)
• Spatz (sparrow)

Spatz means sparrow! I love that one. You should use it.

Scenario: Your crush can’t decide for an outfit. How do you tell them that they look great either way?

a) Du siehst doch sowieso toll aus.

b) Das ist sehr aufmerksam von dir.

// a) is correct!

Schätzchen, du siehst doch sowieso toll aus.

(Treasure, you look great either way.)

Which of the following phrases do you agree with?

• Flirten auf Deutsch will gelernt sein! (Flirting in German has to be learned!) or
• Beim Flirten gibt es kein Richtig und Falsch. (When it comes to flirting, there is no right and wrong.)

Leave me a comment down below. Regardless of what your opinion is, all of the phrases we learned today are just conversation starters. Once it gets really hot, I suggest you forget everything you learned and just follow your Intuition (intuition)…

But at least now you got some tools to approach the German speaker of your dreams. If everything goes well, who knows! Soon you might advance from flirtatious phrases to love related phrases. Better prepare yourself with this video right here – how to talk about love. See you there!