Don’t make these SEXUAL MISTAKES in Spanish 🙈

Don’t make these SEXUAL MISTAKES in Spanish 🙈

Susan, actor 1
Me encanta la comida mexicana, especialmente el chile.
(I love Mexican food, especially the chili.)

Ay, Susan. Mejor di que te gusta la comida picante o picosa.
(Oh, Susan. Better say you like spicy food or spice.)

¡Por eso!  El chile. Amo el chile, todos los chiles, siempre quiero más chile.
(That’s what I mean! The chili! I love chili, all chilis, I always want more chili.)

Maura has already shown you five mistakes that people make when speaking Spanish that are sexual in nature here. In this video, we will continue with this hilarious topic exploring the Mexican art of double entendre. Soy Paulísima de Spring Spanish. Comencemos. (I’m Paulisima from Spring Spanish. Let’s start.)

1. What is a Mexican Albur?

Albur es un juego de palabras. (Albur is a wordplay.) Sexual slang and double entendre are the characteristics of a Mexican verbal game called “albur”. The verb is “alburear”.

Alburear es una de las cosas que son increíblemente difíciles de dominar por las personas que hablan español como segunda lengua. (”Alburear” is one of the things that are hardest to master for people who speak Spanish as a second language.) It’s even hard for us native speakers. Don’t feel bad. With the knowledge you’re acquiring in this lesson, you’re going to up your albur game!

This way of speaking is informal and even vulgar, so you should only use it only amongst people you’re close to. But beware! Because even strangers would try to alburearte (albur you) as a form to socialize and be friendly.

Let’s start out with an example from “The Queen of Albur” in Mexico, que en paz descanse (may she rest in peace). She used to call up her potential clients using a seemingly normal phrase while she’s still throwing an albur at them.

¿Qué talla, joven, qué talla?
(What size, young man, what size?)

This actually innocent chunk is used to ask someone what size they are.

Chunks are phrases or word combinations that native Spanish speakers use all the time. Get a list of the most popular Spanish chunks in the link in the description, for free.

So: ¿Qué talla, joven, qué talla? Do you get it? Let me know in the comments if you do!

Stay until the end because I’ll explain where’s the albur in this and to make it even better, I’ll check if a non-Mexican Spanish speaker that you may know 😉 can detect why this apparently harmless chunk hides a funny sexual pun.  

Susan, vamos a visitar a mis primos en Guerrero. Por favor no menciones nada de tu amor por el chile enfrente de ellos, porque te van a alburear.
(Susan, we’re going to visit my cousins in Guerrero. Please don’t mention anything of your love for chili in front of them, because they’re going to “alburear” you.)

¿En serio? ¿Son muy albureros?
(Really? Are they very “albureros”?)

Sí . Mis primos de Guerrero son muy albureros, pero a mi no me alburean porque saben que a mí no me gusta alburear.
(Yes. My cousins from Guerrero are very “albureros”, but they won’t “albur” me because they know I don’t like to “alburear”.)

Ok, entonces no hablaré del chile. ¿De qué otras palabras me tengo que cuidar?
(Okay, so I won’t talk about chili. What other words should I be wary of?)

Buena pregunta, Susan, buena pregunta.
(Good question, Susan, good question.)

People who are great at albur have the power to sexualize practically every word of the Spanish lexicon! The next ones are the ones that are most commonly used in albur.  

2. Cuidado con estas cinco palabras (Careful with these 5 words)

Many cultures use euphemisms to talk about the human genitalia. México y otros países latinoamericanos no son la excepción. (Mexico and other Latin countries are no exception.) A variety of phallic shapes are used to describe the male sexual organ, but keep in mind that slang varies from Spanish-speaking country to Spanish-speaking country.

But if you’re in Mexico, be especially careful with these ones:

Susan, ¿quieres chorizo?
(Susan, do you want chorizo?)

¿Qué?
(What?)

¿Qué si necesitas chorizo?
(I’m asking if you need chorizo?)

¿Me estás albureando?
(Are you “alburing” me?)

No, en serio. ¿Quieres chorizo? Es que me acaban de traer chorizo de Toluca. Esta buenísimo. ¿Quieres?
(No, really. Do you want chorizo? They just brought me some chorizo from Toluca. It’s so good. Do you want some?)

I meant it before when I say I’m not good at albur, so this video is actually a challenge for me! So show me some love and subscribe to the channel.

Notice the chunk: ¿Me estás albureando? (Are you “alburing me”?) It’s a great phrase you can use when you detect that someone is trying to “albur you”.

¡Me contaron que estuvo muy divertida la reunión de creadores de contenido!
(I was told that the content creators meeting was so much fun!)

¡Sí! Lo mejor fue después de la cena. La que mejor suerte tuvo con el palo fue Paulísima.
(Yes! The best part was after dinner. The one with the best luck with the stick was Paulisima.)

¿Cómo?
(How?)

¡Uy, la hubieras visto cómo agarraba el palo! ¡Se ve que como mexicana tiene mucha experiencia con el palo!
(Oh, you should have seen how she grabbed the stick! You can tell that as a Mexican she has a lot of experience with the stick!)

Susan, a ver, a ver… ¿de qué estás hablando?
(Wait up, wait up,Susan… what are you talking about?)

Es que después de la cena rompimos una piñata, y Paulísima le dio súper duro con el palo.
(It’s just that after dinner we broke a piñata, and Paulísima hit it real hard with the stick.)

¡Ah! ¡Claro! Claro, eso sí tiene sentido. Susan, “palo” es una de esas palabras que pueden hacer que te albureen. Te voy a enseñar una frase que puedes decir para neutralizar cualquier intento de albur.
(Oh! Sure! Sure, that makes sense. Susan, “stick” is one of those words that can make people “albur” you. I’m going to teach you a phrase you can say to neutralize any attempt at “albur”.)

Do you want to hear what’s that phrase? I’ll tell you in a sec, but first let’s check out the other meaning that Palo (Stick) can have.

Actor 1 celular
¡Ay amiga, me urge un palo!
(Oh friend, I urgently need a stick!)

Actor 2 celular
¿En serio? Pues estás de suerte. Fijate que mi amigo Freddy, que por cierto está súper bueno, justo me preguntó por ti.  Quiere invitarte a salir.
(Oh friend. Well you’re in luck. My friend Freddy, who by the way is really hot, just asked me about you. He wants to ask you out.)

¿Qué? ¿Qué tiene que ver tu amigo con el palo que necesito?
(What? What does your friend have to do with the stick that I need?)

A ver… ¿de qué tipo de palo estamos hablando?
(Let’s see… what kind of stick are we talking about?)

¡Un palo para romper una piñata! Mañana es la fiesta de mi sobrinita y yo me ofrecí a llevar una piñata, con todo y palo!
(A stick to break a piñata! Tomorrow is my little niece’s party and I volunteered to bring a piñata, with a stick and all!)

So… pal (stick) can be used to mean both penis and sexual intercourse.  

In México, the most common euphemism for the male reproductive organ is, chile (chili). And it sucks, no pun intended, because chile is ubiquitous in Mexico, we use it all the time.

(Repetir la parte del intro donde Susan dice “El chile me encanta, todos los chiles..)

La frase que les dije que les iba a enseñar es: “sin albur”. (The phrase that I told you I was going to teach you is: “no albur”.) If you’re going to mention any of the words in this lesson, you can end your phrase with a chunk that neutralizes attempts to albur while at the same time it makes you sound funny and in-the-know about “albur”. You’ll sound more natural if you repeat it. v

Me encanta la comida mexicana, especialmente el chile. Sin albur, sin albur.
(I love Mexican food, especially the chili. No “albur”, no “albur”.)

¡Ay claro, claro! ¡Sé que te encanta la comida picante, Susan!
(Oh sure, sure! I know that you love spicy food, Susan!)

There are so many words that are susceptible to have double meaning! And to make matters worse, they change from region to region! Which can be terribly embarrassing. In the part of Guerrero where my parents come from, there is this natural sweetener is called panocha. When they moved to Cancún, they starred in some interesting moments.

Actor 1
Gracias por invitarnos, vecina. Mire, le trajimos unas empanochadas que me acaban de traer de mi pueblo.
(Thank you for inviting us, neighbor. Look, we brought you these “empanochadas” that were just brought to us from my town.)

Actor dos
¿Unas qué, perdón?
(Some what, excuse me?)

Actor 1
Unos panes rellenos de panocha. Es una panocha de muy buena calidad, es una panocha deliciosa.
(Some buns filled with “panocha”. It’s a panocha of great quality, it’s a delicious panocha.)

Actor 2
Ay, vecina, ¿¡cómo le explico?!
(Oh, neighbor, how do I explain this to you?)

Actor 1
¿Qué cosa?
(What thing?)

Actor 2
Pues, es que por acá la panocha es, pues, lo de la Mujer…
(Well, it’s just that here a “panocha” is, well, the woman’s…)

3. ¿Cómo se dice en Venezuela? (How do you it in Venezuela?)

Yeah! Panocha and other variety of otherwise innocent words are used in Mexico and throughout many Latin American countries. I wonder what I should be careful with in Venezuela, for example. Lo bueno es que tengo a mi maravillosa colega Maura para sacarme de la duda. (Good thing that I have my marvelous colleague Maura to clear up this question.)

MAURA ANSWERS Maura Sulbarán  

¿Qué palabras “en codigo” se usan en Venezuela para referirse a los genitales de la mujer?

Paulísima querida, algo muy venezolano es que cuando se trata del cuerpo femenino (Paulisima dear, something very Venezuelan is that when it comes to the female body), for some reason, steer clear from the word “cuchara” (spoon). I honestly don’t know why this happens, but it does. No se me ocurre otra palabra (I can’t think of any other word).

In Venezuela, there’s almost as many ways to say “vagina” (vagina) as families. They’re basically made up words. Yo, sinceramente (I, sincerely) call both genitalia by its name. The one you’d find in the dictionary.

Me too! Can you tell me a little bit about “albur” in Venezuela?

En (in) Venezuela, double meanings are a big part of the sense of humor. De hecho, tenemos una palabra para ello: chinazo. (In fact, we have a word for it: chinazo.) A “chinazo” is when something you say can be constructed as sexual. The problem is, depending on who you’re with, TODO (EVERYTHING) can be a chinazo.

Maura, será que puedas tratar de adivinar cuál es el chinazo en esta frase?

Maura, puedes ver por favor este video y decirme cuál es doble sentido? Es en 2:24

This does not mean a thing to me. It only means “which size”. Nunca había escuchado esto antes (I had never heard this before.) Since I’m dying to go to Mexico, I’m glad I did this thanks to you.

The reason this is an “albur” is because the word “talla” means both size and it also means “rub”? She’s asking ¿Qué talla? Even if it really means “what size”, it can be taken as “what do you rub?”. It’s just like a Venezuelan “chinazo”. Como dijo Maura, todo puede ser un chinazo. (Like Maura said, everything can be a chinazo.)

¡Muchas gracias, Maura! (Thank you so much, Maura!)

4. Albures comunes en forma de pregunta  (Common “albures” in question form)

There’s no ending to what can be made into albur, but in Mexico, these two questions are common albures. Be prepared!

Actor 2
Oye Susan, ¿tu papá ya es grande?
(Hey Susan, is your dad old already?)

Sí, mi papá…¡No! ¡No soy mensa! ¡Ya me sé ese albur! No te voy a decir nada sobre “la papaya”. Pero sí, mi padre ya es un hombre mayor.
(Yes, my dad…No! I’m not a fool! I know that albur already! I’m not going to say anything about “the papaya”. But yeah, my father is already an older man.)

The question means: Is you dad already old? But it sounds like asking if someones “papaya” is big! Papaya is yet another code word for female genitalia.

Now, if somebody in Mexico says huele a obo (it smells like obo) don’t answer asking what obo is. “Obo” doesn’t mean anything, this albur question is just a set up for you to ask ¿Qué es obo? This sounds as ¿Qué sobo? as if you’re asking: “What can I rub?”

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